…and why it matters
Here’s a quick look at the difference between feeling a little guilty Vs spiralling into a shame pit complete with Netflix and crisps.
Here’s the crux:
Guilt = I did something unhelpful
Shame = I am unhelpful as a human being
Let’s say you skip a workout and eat half the fridge. Guilt says: “That behaviour wasn’t ideal. Let’s do better tomorrow.”
Shame says: “You’re a failure. You always do this. What’s the point?”
See the difference? One is a signal to adjust. The other is a sledgehammer to your self-worth.
As Brene Brown says, “Shame is a focus on self; guilt is a focus on behaviour.” Shame makes it personal. Guilt keeps it practical.
In the world of health and fat loss, shame is a killer. It keeps you stuck. It tells you you’re not good enough, so why even try? Ditch it.
It is actually better to feel some guilt, even if I said, we shouldn’t feel guilty about choices made – but there are times that we DO feel guilty, we can’t help it. So, if you must feel something, it is better to feel guilt over shame.
Then – make a better choice and move on. No drama.
Reminder: You’re not bad for eating the biscuits. You’re just a person who ate biscuits. End of story.
Tips to Try
- Reframe your language – Replace ‘I’m so bad’ with ‘That wasn’t aligned, I’ll do better next time.’
- Acknowledge, don’t absorb – Feel it, learn from it, then move forward.
- Remember you’re not alone – Everyone messes up. No one has a gold star for perfection.
- Use guilt as fuel, not proof – Let it remind you what matters. Adjust and keep going.
notice the voice in your head after a wobble… is it guiding you or punishing you? If it’s the latter — politely tell it to where to go, then, crack on!